


Beaten But Not Broken

by illonimo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, Reader can be seen as gender neutral !, Set during Force Awakens or even before, descriptions of death, some sad some angst but also some soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25095472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illonimo/pseuds/illonimo
Summary: You were going to leave this world on your terms: Beaten but not broken.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Reader
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter One

When your X-Wing slammed into the ground you thought yourself a goner. Your body screamed in agony or maybe the cry was actually coming from your throat, the ringing in your ears made it near impossible to tell. You could feel flames licking at your skin and you gritted your teeth, pulling yourself from your seat and through a tight opening that made you cry out in pain as you passed through its sharp edges and hot metal. Upon hitting the wet, hard ground you had landed on you heard a familiar sound of clicks and beeps, your eyes focusing on your small droid, Koi.

“Koi, are you hurt?” Your voice cracked and you weren’t even sure if the small droid had heard you over dull roar the bonfire that once was your X-Wing was making. Your throat was raw, like you hadn’t drank anything in weeks, months even. Koi rolled close to your shoulder, careful not to bump you as he expressed his concern for you in a series of noises. “No, don’t call for backup.” You protested against his suggestion to call for help.

If any of the Resistance rescue squads got close, the First Order would shoot them down too. You couldn’t lose anyone one else.

Sacrificing the one for the many was nearly too much of a loss as it was.

Your scanners had been jammed as soon as you realized you were in trouble and before you could get out of there you had been chased until you had been shot down and had crash landed into some type of forest. You didn’t recognize the area, and there were a number of planets you could of made it to.

You willed yourself to get up but you found the pain nearly paralyzing. Pain shot from your waist into your back then to your head, not helping the pounding that was already setting in. You knew you had several injuries, but you didn’t know how fatal they were. Koi seemed to notice and his ranting got more intense. As he continued his rant about getting help you sighed knowing he wouldn’t give up until you called.

“Okay, okay Koi,” You finally interrupted the droid’s ranting. “Put me through to Poe Dameron.” If there was one person you were going to call before you died it was him. Koi’s front panel lit up and all that came through was static for a long time until you heard his voice. It was so quiet, but it was getting stronger.

“Y/N?” Finally, his voice broke through the static and you could have cried. Your chest started to burn and your throat clogged, restricting your words. “Y/N, are you there?” He asked again and a small sob escaped your throat instead of words. “Y/N what’s wrong?” raising a hand to muffle your labored breathing you swallowed the lump in your throat, finding your voice.

“Poe.” You only managed his name, pulling your hand from your mouth, your eyes catching the red staining your skin and clothes.

“What happened?” His concerned voice pained you and you cleared your throat, pulling yourself together. You didn’t want him to hear you cry, he had never seen you cry.

“I was on my way to the informant but the First Order was waiting. They jammed my scanners and shot me down before I had anytime to move. I don’t know where I crashed and I can’t move.” You only gave the small details, the pounding in your head beginning to get sharper the longer you laid there.

“We can track your location, I’ll inform General Organa.” You could hear him moving around and your hand skimmed over your abdomen, becoming aware of a rather large wound. That would explain all of the blood. Maybe you were in rougher shape than you thought.

“Poe,” You interrupted his mumbling. “Don’t send the rescue squad, don’t risk our people.” The other end was dead silent after you spoke, any background noise you had been catching cut off. “Call it off.”

“I will not let you die out there.” His voice was quiet but you knew Poe. He wore his heart on his sleeve and his emotions in his voice. You could hear the hurt and the anger but you knew it wasn’t because of you, it was the situation.

“The First Order is heavy in this sector, they’ll be expecting backup, don’t risk people we can’t afford to lose.” You closed your eyes as rain began to fall from the sky, the water misting your skin and clothes. “That’s not why I called you though,” As you started to talk a sob jammed its way into your ears from the other side of the call. Your chest tightened and you bit the inside of your cheek.

“Don’t,” His voice cracked. “Don’t you dare tell me you are calling to say goodbye.” The anger in his voice was gone, a sort of helplessness taking over.

“I love you, Poe Dameron.” You weren’t sure if it was the rain or it was the lack of blood but you felt cold, the flames from your X-Wing no longer suffocatingly hot. “I love you so much, and I would not have wished for anyone other than you to of spent these years with.”

“Y/N, please don’t do this. The rescue squads are on their way.” His distraught tone pierced you, it hurt more than any injury you had ever had, even the ones that littered your body now.

“I want you to take care of Koi for me, him and BB-8 always got along.” You patted the small black droid next to you, who only beeped sadly in response. Your body felt weightless, the cold no longer bothering you. “I think it’s time I go.”

“Y/N!” His desperate voice echoed in your ears, almost like an echo. “Y/N, don’t. I can’t do this without you.” You felt yourself shushing him, attempting to comfort, your voice barely a whisper.

“Life is a wonderful thing Poe Dameron and don’t you forget it.” Wetness fell from your eyes, mixing with the falling rain. “And in this life and in the next I will always love you.”

Your eyes focused and unfocused on the sky, doubling and refocusing only to repeat. Ships flew overhead and you closed your eyes, inhaling the earthy smell before opening them again. “End the call Koi.” You spoke softly, patting the droid. You could hear Poe start to protest but it was lost as the signal was cut. You kept your hand on the droid as he moved to sit against your side as if he was snuggling into you.

Shutting your eyes again you felt yourself drifting off. You knew it wasn’t sleep trying to take you, you knew this would be the last time you saw the sky, the last time you had spoken to Poe, the last time you would hold Koi. But you accepted it.

You were going to leave this world on your terms: ** _Beaten but not broken_**.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe's POV of the incident + more.

_ “Dameron, there is a call coming in from Captain Y/N L/N for you.” _

Poe should have known something was wrong when the voice had announced your call. He should have stopped you from going into First Order space. He should have prevented the sight in front of him. He could’ve  **stopped** this.

You were hooked to various machines, some beeping while others made sharp clicking noises. He wasn’t a medic, he didn’t know what these machines did, he just knew they were keeping you alive. Your chest rose and fell in time with the beeping and he watched as a medic droid come in, glancing at your charts before rolling out. Perhaps that was a good sign, them not being frantic over your form anymore.

“How are they?” General Organa’s voice interrupted his speculating causing him to jump lightly.

“They’re recovering but they haven’t gained consciousness back yet.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath before turning to face her. Behind all of his worrying was the biggest bout of exhaustion he had experienced. If he wasn’t working he was by your side,

“They will be fine, they are strong.” Leia rested a hand on his shoulder, offering a soft, caring smile. “And they wouldn’t want you to run yourself ragged.” There was that motherly tone he knew so well. “You need to get some sleep.”

“I can’t sleep, I’ve tried. I’m too worried that if I go to sleep something will happen.” He cast his eyes back to your form in the hospital bed, rubbing his eyes.

“If anything happens, you will be the first to know.” Leia fought his argument, pointing him in the direction of the barracks. Sighing, knowing the fight would be hers no matter what he held his hands in mock surrender.

“If they so much as moves come get me.” Walking out the door, BB-8 at his heels he rubbed his eyes. He knew it was drastic, to want to be there for every little step of your recovery. But he thought you were  **dead** .

As his feet shuffled into his room he collapsed on the bed. He knew the General kept her word and maybe that is what helped his body relax as he laid there. His eyes shut and he let out a deep breath, hoping sleep would take him peacefully.

* * *

_ “Y/N?” Poe called again scrunching his brow at the lack of response he was getting. “Y/N, are you there?” He asked again and a small sob rang in the silence causing him to tense. “Y/N what’s wrong?” Setting down the tools he was using to work on his X-Wing. _

_ “Poe.” You only managed his name, but just in that moment, he could hear the fear in your voice, the pain. _

_ “What happened?” He demanded, moving towards the War Room. _

_ “I was on my way to the informant but the First Order was waiting. They jammed my scanners and shot me down before I had anytime to move. I don’t know where I crashed and I can’t move.” You only gave the small details, but they were enough to send him into a panic as his pace quickened. _

_ “We can track your location, I’ll inform General Organa.” Poe moved quickly around bodies before he made eye contact with General Organa. Making his way to her, he tried to explain in hushed whispers, though there wasn’t much he could do to ease the panic in his voice. _

_ “Poe,” You interrupted his mumbling. “Don’t send the rescue squad, don’t risk our people.” His explanation stopped and he looked away from the General feeling his chest tighten. “Call it off.” Shaking his head at your words he blinked away the tears in his eyes. _

_ “I will not let you die out there.” His voice was quiet, trying to avoid prying eyes that looked towards him. He could feel the anger in his chest under the worry and the concern. His words seemed to resonate a gasp that echoed through the room. _

_ “The First Order is heavy in this sector, they’ll be expecting backup, don’t risk people we can’t afford to lose.” As you spoke Leia gently pushed Poe into the nearest empty room for privacy, offering him a sad glance as the doors shut behind him. “That’s not why I called you though,” He knew what this was. It was a goodbye, one last time to hear your voice. At the thought, a cry let his throat. _

_ “Don’t,” His voice cracked. “Don’t you dare tell me you are calling to say goodbye.” The anger in his voice was gone, just as soon as it came, a sort of helplessness taking over. _

_ “I love you, Poe Dameron.” Using his hand to silence further sobs that hit him in waves, he starred hopelessly out of the window the room was adorned with. You were out there somewhere, dying and he couldn’t do anything but listen to it. “I love you so much, and I would not have wished for anyone other than you to of spent these years with.” _

_ “Y/N, please don’t do this. The rescue squads are on their way.” His distraught tone echoed through the room. _

_ “I want you to take care of Koi for me, him and BB-8 always got along.” Poe shook his head even though you couldn’t see him as if it’d magically make you stop saying these things. “I think it’s time I go.” _

_ “Y/N!” His desperate cry was only followed by a voice so quiet he almost was afraid you wouldn’t hear him. “Y/N, don’t. I can’t do this without you.” Your comforting shushing, on any other occasion, might have made him smile, laugh even, but not this. _

_ “Life is a wonderful thing Poe Dameron and don’t you forget it.”It wouldn’t be beautiful, not without you. “And in this life and in the next I will always love you.” Poe gave General Organa a pleading glance as he moved out of the room and she nodded to him. They had your location. “End the call Koi.” Your words brought him back to your conversation and he felt himself fill with helplessness. If they didn’t get there in time, you were going to be gone forever. Static rang in his ears and he shut down the com line, his body shaking. _

* * *

“Poe, wake up.” A soft voice mixed with the shaking of his arm woke Poe from his less than pleasant dream. Looking up he was greeted with one of the MedBay human medics and she offered him a smile.

“What’s going on?” He asked, sitting up.

“Y/N’s awake, they want to see you.” At the medic’s words, he bolted up from the bed, making his way around her and towards the MedBay. He wasn’t sure what time it was but the base was only filled with the bare minimum, the rest probably in their quarters.

Entering into the MedBay his breath caught in his throat as he looked around the cot, his eyes catching your form.

You were propped up, your eyes sparkling in the low light as you spoke between BB-8 and Koi. His heart felt like it’d pop right out of his rib cage as your eyes followed BB-8’s gaze. You were beaten, bruised beyond repair but you weren’t broken. His feet carried him to you, the droids making haste to get out of his way. 

Poe’s emotions as he pulled you carefully into his arms reached a peak, his eyes welling with tears. You were  **here** , you were  **alive** . He hadn’t lost you.

“Be careful Poe, I’m barely in one piece as it is.” You joked, pushing him back enough so you could see his face.

“Don’t you ever, ever do that to me again.” His hands cupped your face and he placed several kisses on your face. “I thought I had lost you.” His voice cracked at his words and you brought him down to your level to hug him lightly.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.”


End file.
